Twenty-one people walk into a plane. One guy and a crocodile walk out. Hmm, very suspicious. The lone survivor of this small plane wreck claims that another passenger stashed the crocodile into a sports bag and smuggled it onto the plane. The scaly beast broke free from the bag and chaos ensued. It scared the flight attendant so much that she ran to the front of the plane screaming, which caused the passengers to panic and run up with her. The plane completely lost its balance and fell right out of the sky. Twenty people died, including the pilots. The only survivor made sure to take care of the crocodile with a machete. Trying to keep someone quiet, eh?
So you accidentally dismount your head, so what? You can always pop it back in, right? Shannon Malloy, was a young mother who managed to get away with this trick. She was internally decapitated after a car crash. Internal Decapitation is what they call it when a person’s head is detached from their body but still attached by skin. Think of it like a tennis ball in a sock. Doctors were able to place her skull back onto her spine. It did take five tries though. What do you expect? Definitely not anesthetic, because she was awake during the procedure and even said she felt her head slipping off. Miraculously, she walked away, probably not right away, but she did walk away alive and without being paralyzed.
Channing Moss’s body took some major heat from a Rocket Propelled Grenade. This former private of the U.S. Army was part of a unit that was attacked in eastern Afghanistan. The RPG hit the left side of his body and even visibly protruded from it. He was lucky enough to not have the shoulder thrown bomb explode while it was inside him. But, you know, he still had a foot-long grenade in his side. And it wasn’t five dollars. That’s probably the worst part. Actually that’s probably the better part, because then he’d be paying five of his own dollars for a grenade in his gut. That’s a total ripoff. Luckily, he was treated with some very fine morphine by some very fine physicians that suited out in helmets and body armor (which were very fine) while removing the warhead. Better luck next time, soldier.
Truman Duncan was working as a railroad switchman in June 2006. He fell in the devastating path of two moving freight cars. Although he survived, he was not left in tact. Duncan’s body was severed in half. His pelvis was sliced in two by the wheels. He says he, “ended up falling off and when I did I stood up and the end of the car just hit me in the chest…I grabbed a hold of it and I was hanging on by the knuckle. And I had decided to actually run backwards and kind of just jump out of the way.” He still had the remarkable sense to grab his cell phone and call 911. “I knew all I needed to do was just, you know, wait until help got there and then maybe I’d have a chance.” We call him Truman the Trouper because he waited he a whopping 45 minutes for help to arrive. We can get a pizza delivered faster than that, or it’s free!
A physics researcher was rammed in the head with a proton beam close to the speed of light in 1978. After examining a malfunction in the largest Soviet particle accelerator, Anatoli Burgoski saw something “brighter than a thousand suns”. Despite the incredibly powerful beam of energy that burned through his skull, he felt no pain. This wouldn’t last long. Half of his face swelled up and gradually peeled away. The proton beam had severed through his entire head, including his face and brain. Doctors at the Mayo clinic in Moscow observed him while he waited for near certain death. Amazingly, he survived this without significant brain damage, even earning a Ph.D. afterwards. Still, be careful around those particle accelerators, the ones that you totally have in your house right now.
This kid needs a vacation from his vacation. After a week in Florida, 10-year-old Luke Bresette found out just what it meant to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. The 300 pound board fell and fatally crushed the young boy. His mother and two siblings were also injured. It took six people to lift the information board enough for the emergency medical staff to attend to him. It took another 12 people to lift it up completely. The Birmingham airport has since removed a similar board. The manufacturer of the information board stated, “Well yeah, they fall. But how you gonna find your flights? You just gonna sit there, all lost, and get all fat off Cinnabon? Huh? Huh?” That’s not true, actually. They never said that. They probably thought it, though.
You don’t need fancy technology to cause an unbelievable accident. In 1814 a vat of beer exploded in a London brewery. It’s sad when any beer goes to waste. It’s especially sad when 4.4 million pints of beer go to waste. Even worse, the massive flood of beer trapped two young men under the rubble of a dissolved pub destroyed two homes. Saddest of all, eight people were drowned by the sea of beer simply because they happened to be in their basements at the time. Talk about binge drinking!